Thursday, September 24, 2015

Storytelling for Week 5: My Wife is a Psychopath

"Hello, you must be Mr. Shantanu. My name is Dr. Smith, and my speciality is relationship counseling. How my I help you?"

Mr. Shantanu looked the doctor straight in the eye and said, "I am married to a psychopath."

Mr. Shantanu didn't plan on marrying a psychopath, but I guess no one ever does. When the new client said this, Dr. Smith didn't know whether he should believe Mr. Shantanu or not. Mr. Shantanu had all the physical signs that he was telling the truth. He wasn't fidgeting, sweating, or avoiding eye contact, but his story just seemed too strange to be real.

"Well, Doc, a couple of years ago I lived in this old log cabin. It was a beautiful place, but I had to always go out and get fire wood. One day while I was cutting firewood I saw a beautiful woman. She didn't seem like she was from this world because she was so beautiful."
"What did you do?" Dr. Smith asked.
"What another young man would do if he saw a pretty girl. I walked right up and introduced myself. She looked at me and said, 'I'm not interested in formalities such as these. What is it exactly that you want?' I replied by saying, 'I want you and nothing but you for the rest of my life.' I was so nervous about what she would say next."
"What did she say next?" The doctor questioned.
"She said, 'Fine, I will marry you, but you must promise to never question what I do.' I was completely shocked because I didn't formally propose, but, hey, she agreed to marry me. Needless to say, I was thrilled. So thrilled, in fact, that I didn't think twice about her rule."

"I don't see what the problem is in your relationship. Her rule is indeed strange, but some woman enjoy their privacy."
"I'm not done yet, Doc. I honestly forgot her promise she made me make. After the honeymoon phase of our relationship was over and life began, I remembered her promise. I couldn't think of a reason why she would say such a thing. During those first few month of marriage I hadn't seen anything that was worth questioning her about. She was normal. In fact, she was wonderful."

Dr. Smith sat intently, but he still wasn't able to see what the problem was in his client's marriage. His client continued, "She became pregnant and I was thrilled. I had always wanted children, and I knew she was going to be a wonderful mother. We endured the pregnancy together and were so happy. Then she gave birth to an absolutely stunning child."
Mr. Shantanu shed a tear of joy as he remembered this joyful time. "This was the happiest day of my life. But I had been up all night during the child birth and decided to take a nap. When I woke up I found my wife sleeping peacefully and the baby missing. I woke her and said, 'Hey, sweetheart, where is our child?' 'In the river,' she said. I was completely shocked. Before I could start questioning her further, she added, 'You promised not to question me. You must stay true to your word. Our child is dead and there shall be no more questions about it.' That's all she had to say."



The doctor was completely silent. He looked at Mr. Shantanu, but didn't have the words to say.
"I just kept wondering who was this woman I married? I mean how could she kill our own child? She seemed so lovely. I just don't understand how something like this could happen. But there is nothing I can do. My firstborn is gone."

It took a few minutes for Mr. Shantanu to compose himself before he continued. "This has happened six other times, Doc. Every time she gives birth, she gets up, takes the child to the river, drowns them and then returns with a smile on her face. But there is nothing I can do about it. I promised I wouldn't question her. Now she is pregnant with our eighth child and I don't want to see this happen again."

The doctor looked him in the eyes and gave him sincere advice. "Mr. Shantanu, this is a problem I have never faced before. I am almost speechless. Clearly we have a lot to unpack with this situation. But for starters, sir, your wife is a murderer. We need to address this issue first in the concern of your eighth child. You and I have doctor-patient confidentiality, so I can't report your wife's behavior. Mr. Shantanu, you need to begin thinking about how turning your wife into the police might be your only way to save your eighth child."
Mr. Shantanu was silent for a few moments then said, "Well, Doc, I'm not sure I can do that yet. But I'll go home and think about it and see you next week."


Author's Note:
This was a story that was briefly told in the Mahabharata. In my opinion, the story was too brief. I wanted to know more about this story, especially how King Shantanu was handling the situation, so I decided to explore the emotions of King Shantanu. Instead of calling him King I decided to call him Mister in order to place him in a more modern time frame. This story isn't a situation that we see in our modern time, but I think that adds to the suspense of the story. I also think it adds to his feeling that his wife is a psychopath. But I also wanted to stay fairly true to the original story. In the original story this "crazy woman" was a goddess named Ganga. She became incarnate as  a human to help the Vasus, gods who are punished to be born as humans. She helped them by killing them as soon as they were born, but her husband was kept in the dark about all this.  I didn't want to add a lot of glitz and glam, just focus on the emotion part of it. That is why I wanted to bring in a counselor. They focus on people's emotions so I thought that would be a good way to help focus my story. Overall, this story was a lot of fun to write and I really enjoyed exploring the emotions. Instead of focusing on the main story of the Mahabharata, I focused on a smaller story and tried to expand on it.

Bibliography:
The Mahabharata by R.K. Narayan Web Source: Reading Guide

Picture:
River Web source: Wikimedia Commons

9 comments:

  1. Hey Hayley!
    I really enjoyed your story! When I read the title of your story it immediately caught my attention. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what the wife was doing that made her a psychopath. I liked the styled you used to convey the story. It really depicted the emotions and turmoil Mr. Shantanu was going through.

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  2. Hayley, this was definitely an interesting read. The title stuck out immediately and I almost thought I was about to read about something from Jerry Springer. I liked all of the conversation and the style of the narration as well. I also like how you wrote in the thoughts of Mr. Shantanu with the italicized lines; it made it very easy to discern internal thought from narration. Great job.

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  3. This was one of the most memorable passages for me. Well for now anyway. And, I must say, I like that you made this story take place in a much more modern setting and that fact that he went to a professional to seek help made it more amusing. In the readings it doesn't go much into detail so I enjoyed reading this because it gave more insight into what the king was actually feeling knowing what his wife was doing. Great job!

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  4. I was curious to know more about this story when I read the original version too. I felt like they didn't give enough detail to really understand it. With that being said, I love your version. I think it did have a modern feel and it brought more emotion into the story. I really liked the title too. My wife is a psychopath really lets you see how crazy he thinks his wife is for doing what she does. I liked how you used a counselor so you could really explore Mr. Shantanu's feeling more in depth than you probably could have otherwise. The story was so interesting and I found that it was extremely easy to read. I also really like the picture that you chose. It looks so serene and peaceful but also a little creepy because you know that his children were drowned in it. Overall, I really enjoyed your story!

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  5. I think this was a good way to retell the story of King Shantanu. Having Shantanu go to seek counsel emphasizes the emotion. And you did a good just of portraying his stunned emotional state. Although, I did have to wonder if Shantanu was the person with psychological problems for proposing to someone he just met. You had a couple typos: Watch your forms of “too” in “just to strange” and “trilled should be “thrilled.”

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  6. The title for this story was the first thing to catch my attention and enticed me to read more! It was interesting to read the dialogue between Mr. Shantanu and a counselor. You can tell that Shantanu doesn’t know who else to turn to, and that’s why he has to seek professional help. I like how you kept all of the major details true to the original story. For example, how Shantanu experienced love at first sight and was lured into accepting her promise without giving it much thought. You can tell that in the time period the original story was written, people took their promises very very seriously. Thus, when Shantanu made his promise to his future bride, he could not back out of their marriage…. Even though she began murdering their children. In today’s society, even the most binding promises can be broke for the sake of doing what’s right. This contrast in how we view the weight of our words is highlighted by setting your story in modern times.

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  7. When I went to your portfolio, I clicked on one of your other stories. As it loaded, I noticed your other story title and immediately hit back because I had to read this. The title was such a hook and as I began reading, I was unsure of which story this was. Once he said he couldn't question what she did, I recalled the story and was so excited to read more. This story was so interesting and the pacing was perfect. You did such a good job with the dialogue and the modernization of this tale. He feels helpless and that is evident in the way you portray him, but he also loves his wife and does not wish to upset her. I also like how you used the idea of doctor/patient confidentiality to explain why they did not go straight to the police. It's an interesting concept in a case like this. This story was very good and I think you did a fantastic job telling it!

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  8. Hi Hayley! Wow, this story was great! It got so little attention in the Mahabharata that I almost forgot about it. It was a really interesting story originally, and it was one of the stories that really drew me into the Mahabharata. She definitely would seem like a psychopath outside of the context--even in the context--of the Mahabharata. You did a great job with the dialogue, though I might break it up a little to encourage natural pauses and flow. Granted, he wanted to marry her at first sight, and that's a little crazy too, but whatever crazy works for you! One thing I would mention is that you used an I, referring to the narrator, but that isn't used again throughout the story. It makes it a little confusing, so be sure to either pick second or third person and edit for that. Just make sure to stay consistent and you should be good!

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  9. Hayley,
    Your title for this story is such a attention-grabber. That is what pulled me into reading this story. I have also read another story of your and was excited to come and read another one of your stories. I think framing this as a doctor-patient story was brilliant and really fit the theme of the story. I would have never thought of doing a therapy session as a story, but it fit this one well. And the way that you did the dialog between the patient and the doctor worked amazingly also. I remember reading the original story and was blown away at how horrific the story was. I couldn’t imagine having kids and then drowning them in the river and going on with the rest of my day like nothing happened. I didn't find any grammatical errors in your story. It was really easy to read and flowed really well. Good job on your story it was amazing.

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