"Ok daddy!"
Jim felt it was necessary to take his kids out to the woods for the weekend. They were too "techy" and it was getting harder and harder for Jim to relate to them.
"Dad I'm bored." Junior said, as he sat slouching in a red lawn chair.
"Well how about I tell you a story." Said Jim.
"Oh I love stories daddy!" Said Joan.
"There once lived a very wealthy man. A man who had so much money that he was never in need and had everything he could ever want. Except this man did have something he needed; his dog Piper. Piper was his only remaining friend. "
"All of his family and friends didn't want to be around him because of his love of money. Now there were a lot of people who were jealous of the man's wealth and wanted to take it for themselves. But they didn't know how. They tried stealing his money, but that didn't work because he kept his money hidden. They had to come up with something creative. So one day the bad people walked into his backyard and stole Piper while she was asleep in her dog house. They called the man and told him that they had Piper and would return her once he gave them all of his money. But the man didn't want to give up his money. So, he lied and only gave the bad men a little portion of his massive wealth. The bad men knew he was lying so they called back and told the man that they had killed Piper, even though they really hadn't. The wealthy man was so upset that he just lay on his floor in his massive mansion. The bad men came and stole everything he had. He didn't move, he just laid on the floor. One day Piper came home. The men had let her go and she found her way back. The once wealthy man rejoiced and was never without his dog again."
"Wow dad that was an awful story." Said Junior.
Joan agreed.
"But there is a moral to this story. You two are so attached to your phones and iPads that you might miss the opportunity to be with someone you love when they need you. You need to give people your full attention not just a portion of it."
The kids didn't give up technology that day. To be honest they never gave up their technology, but they began to spend more time with their family and loved ones. They began to reengage in life.
Author's Note:
For this story I was inspired by the death of Drona. Although my story follows a somewhat different line of events, Drona was still the inspiration. I really had a hard time finding inspiration in the Mahabharata and this story was hard to write. So essentially I tried to give a moral to the story and add a family who is out camping.
Bibliography:
The Mahabharata by R.K. Narayan Web Source Reading Guide
Photo:
Old Time Farm Shepherd Wikipedia
Hi, Hayley! I really liked how you took the essence of Drona's story and made it applicable to modern life. Often, it's easy to take the things that are constants in life for granted, even if they are particularly meaningful to you! I have been thinking about this a lot throughout senior year, and the reminder that technology can be as much of a distraction as anything else was much needed!
ReplyDeleteI love that you integrated dialogue to make the story more person, but I would have loved to see more development within the actual plot. Also, be sure to check for punctuation in quotations when you proofread! It's always been a struggle of mine and I have to be extra alert to catch it in my writing. Great job! :)
This was a touching story. I really liked your moral of the story. It is sometimes easy to forget how much something means to you until you lose it. The man almost lost all he had also but he loved piper more than his money, which I thought, was the moment of his redemption. Good story, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHayley, I loved the moral of these story! It was also a great twist to the original story of Drona! The storytelling style you used was a very interesting touch. It was pretty descriptive, especially with the detail you created in the dialogues. I'm glad that although it was a sad story, it had a somewhat happy ending as well! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi again, Hayley! I really enjoyed reading your twist on Drona's story. It delivered a good moral, and was well written! It's comforting to hear that you were having trouble finding inspiration in the Mahabharata as well, since I had a hard time finding things to write about while I was reading it as well. I might suggest breaking up the paragraph of text in the middle just to give some room for pauses or inflection within the writing itself. Great work overall!
ReplyDelete